So that’s it!
We’re done. India Chapter over but who knows. I do know that I will be bringing a little something back with me. I won’t get into too many details but just lets say that one of the many Gods of this country took vengeance on me at about 2 p.m.
We will discuss later.
No time for breakfast this morning: things to do people to barter with. First stop was a trip to the tailor for a fitting then off to the Palace Museum.
The cool thing about Udaipur is that it is home to the oldest Dynasty in the World- “The Mewar Dynasty”. We learned that the Monarch is considered as a custodian of the land representing the word of the Gods.
What is really unique about being in Udaipur when we were is that the Custodian is hosting a marriage celebration of his youngest daughter on March 7th. This is a HUGE deal and there is bustle everywhere as preparations are being made. We timed our trip here perfectly.
The Palace Museum is full of interesting trinkets left over from Mewar lore. Facinating stories of how this family fought off invaders for centuries. How they used tactics like attaching fake elephant trucks to the noses of their horses when going into battle against war elephants.
Why you may ask?
Cause apparently mommy and daddy elephants are highly maternal/paternal and they naturally will not attack a baby elephant or in this case a horse disguised as a baby elephant.
Now tell me that isn’t clever.
We learned of the fate of one of the Custodian’s daughters, “Krishna”, whom by an administrative error was promised to two suitors. When the two future grooms arrived and the error was realized; the only solution was to have Krishna killed.
This would save face and prevent war.
Due to the fact that Krishna was so beautiful no one in the Kingdom would take her life (the audio guides words – not mine); it was decided that she would take poison.
Legend has it that she drank three times and the poison would not work due to divine intervention. The Fourth time was the charm.
Speaking of poison…2 p.m. I got the worst F**kn stomach cramps ever. Figures…on the last day!!
Doing my best “Delhi Shuffle” kind of like a very fast Charley Chaplan walk we sped to the “Whistling Teal” restaurant (great place by the way). Fortunately I got to the washroom on time but I now realize why most Indian washrooms have a “vegetable sprayer” beside the toilet.
I know…ewwwwww.
I had to divert my eyes from a proper English Woman who went in after I did.
Anyways, after the episode we sat in the courtyard of the restaurant and had a bottle of water and an apple flavoured Hookah while we watched monkeys play in the trees above.
I had never had one before and it was quite good.
For the record the hookah was the non-trippy type.
All checked out we waited for our cab and here I sit on a questionable plane heading back to Delhi where we will start our journey home.
Now you may ask me, “Mike, what did you learn about India?” You might ask “Mike can you give me any sage advice about traveling to India?” or you might even try “Mike, what’s it like watching a bunch of Indian Women bathe?”. As most of you know me, I am never short of advice so I will endeavor to answer the first two questions but I’m not going to entertain the third question.
Sorry, what happens in Udaipur, stays in Udaipur.
What I learned about India is that to travel this country takes patience. For every one bad experience you have you will get two back. Keep in mind that you will have a bad experience.
You will see poverty and you will see a lot of it.
Standard of cleanliness isn’t the same as ours but at the same time we don’t have to walk 5 klms for daily water and the people here don’t have the luxury of walking their garbage to the curb.
Accept the people of India for what they are. Our spirits are the same it’s just the measurement of human condition that is different.
If you’re travelling to India consider treating the large metropolises as day trips. Pick a few points of interest, get in and get out. I found the people and remote historical sites outside of the cities are far more beautiful – maybe you will too.
Get yer ass to Rajastan, it is simply amazing and Udiapur (in my opinion so far) is the jewel.
Learn the technique of “Head Bobbling” it goes a long way in the art of negotiation.
India is a deeply spiritual country. Unlike the water, drink it in freely - you will grow.
On the water note…no matter how much they assure you that the ice cubes they serve are from filtered water…give up the illusion of chilled drinks.
Some things that are must packs for a trip to India:
IMODIUM – oh god bring Imodium.
Bring a surgical mask. You might look a liitle silly but wearing one when walking through traffic or riding a tuk tuk through busy streets will save a few brain cells.
Antibiotics if you can.
Bring a bandana for sure; if you have ever read Douglas Adams then consider that the Bandana is to the Indian traveler as the Towel is to the main characters of “ The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”.
Malarone is essential as is Deet and Sunscreen.
Most importantly is pack your sense of humour and unless you plan on staying at the best hotels and spending wads of cash, leave your “Princess Card” at home.
So that’s my trip.
I must admit that I really am looking forward to getting back to my friends, family and colleagues; working abroad makes you truly appreciate the village that you have left temporarily behind.
I have to admit I didn’t spend a lot of time proof reading or spell checking but hey, I’m on a working vacation and free time is scarse…if that makes any sense.
Besides I have tones of friends who thrive on over-correcting and I’ve just provided them pages of fun filled activity.
That’s just the charitable kind of guy that I am.
Thanks very much for reading
Your Friend,
Mike
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