(A brief status update / Q&A with the author)
Greetings fellow passengers of the Thaitanic (Adventure), thanks very much for reading on.
I’ve been getting a few repeating questions from friends about this Thaitanic Adventure blog and I thought rather than responding to the questions repeatedly*; I would put the answers into an FAQ format for all to reference. For my more theatrical friends I have included stage direction)
Q1: “Mike, why haven’t you written any new posts since December 30th?”
A1:
(MJS enters stage left toward – stage black – single column; conical light surrounds an antique desk centre stage. Single ashtray with amber lit cigarette producing smoke trail in light. Half full glass of amber liquid-centre left of ashtray. High back, worn leather chair behind the desk. MJS walks to desk, sits and draws a deep breath and begins….)
“Welllllllllllll I haven’t left for Thailand yet but plan to in the near future”
(MJS exits chair, walks to the front of desk, sits on desk leaning forward)
“You see my friend, for the next few days you should think of this as the ‘courtesy lounge time’. You are waiting for the purser, have an fffffew cocktails, watch some other passengers mull around but nothing really eventful is happening. You know that ship will whisk you away soon enough. Question is do you have all of your Gravol packed?”
(MJS squints looking stage right wondering what the hell that means then looks centre stage).
Q2: “How is the mosquito training going?”
A2: “Very well, thank you. I have run into a small snag in my training schedule.
The problem is that you can’t recycle a mosquito (and you can’t find a defibrillator small enough to revive them). I have been attempting to use common household items to simulate the size and flight of a mosquito but with limited success.
As an alternative to the “live kill” training I have resorted to a little known “finger core” strengthening system. The technique involves compressing a small stress ball between your index finger and thumb. Repetition is very important in this type of training.
While the technique is highly successful there is an unfortunate side effect where my thumb and index finger are disproportionate to the rest of the digits on my hand. Therefore, while my left hand appears normal, my right resembles that of a large white Crab Claw.
Q3. “How are the Citronella Baths going?”
A3: “Very well, thank you again” The Citronella Baths are going well there is again a small problem. With the sent of lemons wafting all over my apartment, I find that I have a strong desire to cover my Crab Claw fingers with salt and drink tequila (in the absence of limes of course). Good thing I don’t drink on week days.
(MJS jumps off desk and speaks centre stage)
“Well kids, I’m outta here. Thanks again for reading.”
“Korp kun dee-o jeu gan na”
(MJS exits stage left – stage black)
